Keeping your sunny side up.

Since last week, I have been doing research on cancer treatment outcomes.  Our closest hospital has a "worse than expected" survival rate and low nursing staff ratios. 

We spoke and determined it was not the right place for the love of my life to have treatment, surgery or recovery.  We have an appointment and may have some preliminary testing done, but have already made an appointment for a second opinion at a regional cancer hospital.  I have learned that many patients get a second and even a third opinion.  Each hospital has a different approach.  One has you seen by a surgical oncologist first, others have you see the medical oncologist.  Some do 90% of the footwork for you, others hand you a flashlight and have you find your own way.

The best advice we have received has been from cancer survivors.  Keep a positive outlook. 

Cancer in the one you love.

We got good news and bad news yesterday.  The good news was no problems in the colon. Great!  The bad news, adenocarcinoma in the distal esophagus and the gastro esophageal junction.  Not pretty. The kids couldn't look at the computer generated photos.  

We spent today researching and going over everything our gastroenterologist explained.  With my medical background, I was able to process what was about to happen.   I was numb, after all, it is not My cancer.
I put the negative and pity party thoughts away.  I'm not going to help my husband by falling apart.  I've read the first couple of days you go through a process accepting the cards you've been death.

 I'll let him do that.  My job is to research, research, research, the treatments and protocols and the doctor and hospital ratings.  Ok, I'm a pro at this.  I spent years healing my son with autism, my daughter with her rare neurological illness. Years of collecting information and being the patient advocate.  So, I"ll put together another looseleaf binder, a printed list of questions for the oncologist, the surgical oncologist, the radiologist etc. I'll read pages from the National Cancer Institute, support groups, speak with friends I know who have dealt with cancer. 

He looks at me at the dinner table and asks me to call our attorney for an appointment.  He wants all his ducks in a row.  If this helps him feel in control, good.  My goal is to keep him from needing to worry about any of that stuff.  He's not checking out on me.  The treatment for this is scary, but I'm not going to let him off the hook that easily.  The prognosis is half and half, but no copping out is allowed.  We are on a mission to defeat this cancer, and kick it out the door.